It will be the dusk for my three series, as I look forward to the fourties, InsyaAllah. MasyaAllah, how time just zoom by. Where did the past 10 years go? We are ultra busy with life, complaining how ‘little’ time there is in a day. We keep on wishing the rate it passes by depends on a manual brake, and that remains in the wishful thinking. As we stand with all our might, life continues to take its course. It is up to us to steer and control it into the way which we want.
20s to the 30s
20 years ago I would question myself ‘Hey, what would it be like in the next decade’.. Today, I have learnt to minimise questioning and live. I must say the biggest turning event for me was moving from my care free 20s to a much more focused me in my 30s. I have had it in the 20s, a person whose calendar year revolves around sporting events! The athletic spirit in me brought forward to the 30s was nothing short of fun, with its own twist and challenge.
For you all still in your 20s, create healthy habits, discpline and focus in this decade. No matter what you do. A lot of time, our focus can be either too polarised towards a certain interest or lack of focus– making it harder to move pass this phase, and take on bigger and more serious commitments and responsbilities. You may enjoy the peaks and perks of being in your 20s, and it may carry on for a bit into your 30s.
Entering my 30s, it was gradually focusing on other things beyond my adult self. Work, family. Adjusting to be a real adult! Challenges come and go, and nothing like ‘signing up’ for a sport challenge! The real deal is darn challenging and catches our consciousness like a gator. Calm, unexpected and the rest goes down in history. The moment life bites you, you either drown or escape even with risking a limb.
Count your blessings
They say count your blessings. Gratitude is an element largely untapped. The contrast to this is ‘tamak’– a Malay adjective referring to thinking and feeling what we have is not enough even with the surplus that the Almight have bestowed us. This feeling of being insufficient especially woth the material (sometimes immaterial), and not having a stop or limit to things.
I am blessed with a supportive family, and forever will be grateful. And in my late 20s, entering Sime Darby, a huge conglomerate, I was blessed with a great supportive and diverse team. There were lots to learn, and lots learned. It opened up my views to serving the company and it was a pure blessing to be in a well-rounded organisation who do take care of employee’s interest and benefits.
When you are in a 9 to 5 career, work-life-balance is a huge deal. Bigger deal when you have multiple commitments to juggle. If you’re thinking the same, you’d probably agree that the twist to work-life balance is that, no one will tell you how. It is not an open topic which is quickly distingushed from other daily convos. Kids, chores, healthy eating, how to manage losers ! Like this post if you agree with me on this. The wisdom behind all of this is that experience is the greater teacher. But the philosophy behind all of this are the values and principles which are core to your reality. You can have the best of both worlds ie life and work, yet still stressed on the most mundane of things, or when life tingles on your nerves just a wee bit.
The nature of life lessons is non-academic. Experiential learning is here to stay, and there are much to learn from those far more experienced in life lessons. Equally important are learnings from researches amd scientists. But lets face it, majority of us learn a lot from acting and responding to life events, be them good or bad. We truly learn when there is a change in our mentality, thinking and behaviour towards life stimulus. You see, learning is beyond a scroll of paper! The world, is indeed an open book awaiting to be deciphered.
Nevertheless, I eventually pursued my 2nd degree in my mid 30s. It was a 2 years longggg gig… but despite all the challenges, made it through. Its a fun and enduring phase juggling life as a postgraduate student and mom of two!! The mind shift happened when commitment overtook most things; work, family, and studies. You want to reach the finish line no matter how long and painful it is.
I picked up earlier from other age group athlete friends who took it a notch down with training/racing life, to concentrate on other commitments and priorities. For me sporting continues but it was not as aggrasive as before. As long the fitness and health components are achieved, I am in a good place, InsyaAllah. Even then, I definitely picked and chose the events that I wanted and could participate . You gotta definitely adjust yourself to your life now. And not the past influencing your outlook as the now matters. A wise friend of mine once said, ‘Been there, done that’. Once is enough, but how much is too many. There much more free obstacles in life so being in the right mind frame every time is key.
Each of us prioritise differently and I choose to stick to my ‘amanah’/responsibilities and I am proud to be doing so. Health and happiness is key. We all need to strive, work and ensure we live comfortably and have the means to do so. Life is an endurance run with a tall order of goals that need to be achieved before the final goal and destination is achieved. So patience is vital, and having some focus in what we do in life goes a long way.
For mothers/fathers out there who think they have to forego a fit and healthy life post kids, the game is tough, really, and serious adjusting needs to take place, with a high dose of creativity. How we did things before, prior to real commitments, don’t work anymore. If you push yourself to it, I bet it will not take long for you to surrender, and take a long hard look at the mirror. It won’t be the same…
But I didn’t say its for the worse.
Because what is good is yet to come. Just like an endurance adventure race.. the next check point seems so far away, let alone the finish line. You have spent hours of focused training. So you don’t want to see your sweat goes to waste. You want it to eventy give you back the purpose you’ve set out for. Same with life. Everything came with a purpose. The same way you chose that job. Same way you chose to settle down and have kids. Have kids? Well, you gotta raise them! Period.
Mothers out there, nothing replace life blessings more than the amanah you have been bestowed. Your children, and those under your care– take care of them with much tender, and loving care. Those ‘finisher’ medals is as good as a bunch of metals in a plastic Ikea box. Your past legacy remains to those attached to your past achievement.
Fathers and mothers, your future legacy is built upon your steadfast and discpline in sticking to your goals as parents. And for the faithful, never give up on your prayers! Never ignore the needs of those under your care. Your ego should fall unto the right places and used accordingly.
Singletons, likewise.. I am sure you have goals and commitments. But don’t let them overwhelm you. Learn to stay focused in your life pursuit. Learn personal finance, parenting skills, cooking even..! You know, those kind of knowledge and skills NOT found in HalHigdon’s page or the Global Cycling Network YouTube vids. Plethora of things to learn, ain’t that exciting!! Be close who gives you positive vibe and encourages you to live a fulfilling life and not just for the lust of worldly adrenaline and fun.
Regardless of how old you are or will be, stay you, just better. I’m missjewelz, always. (“,). We have our own path to take in our different journeys set and planned. Keep away from being astray, and stick to what will work for your better good and life development.
26 July 2022
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