Be yourself – just better


I detect that most if not some of us are hard-wired in sensing energy levels of environments, particularly from people who we meet, whether its a stranger, an affiliate, some one who knew from the past or those who we meet and converse with on daily basis.

Photo credit: humansarefree.com

Energy in broad terms can be used to indicate i) type of energy typically positive or negative and ii)level of energy .

On at least 2 different occasions, 2 different people indicated how my energy level shifted from high to low; when I talk about sports and health related issues compared to when I talk about my career. Sounds familiar? Psychology can help us understand ourselves better with just this example. Knowing and understanding the sciences of behaviour gives us better advantage at different levels of what we are pursuing professionally and other wise.

For most of us, we use intuition to assess a situation where we are in, to effect our judgement, action and speech. Speakers and academicians apply it all the time without , perhaps, knowing its sciences. Theoretically speaking,  that gut feeling or hunch, serves as a radar to our behaviour. Lufityanto, G., Donkin, C., & Pearson, J.  (2016) in their publication Measuring Intuition: Nonconscious Emotional Information Boosts Decision Accuracy and Confidence. Psychological Science mentioned : “the ability to quantitatively measure intuition could be a boon to many different fields, especially when it comes to workplace hiring: “This could be applied in the workplace, taking the place of existing questionnaires which really only test people’s opinions about their own feelings of intuition. We do have intuition and we can measure it scientifically.””

 

PTJANE

Simon Baker plays the independent consultant for the California Bureau of Investigation, in American drama series ‘The Mentalist’. Photo credit : theage.com.au

 

If you have or are watching The Mentalist, you can immediately correlate the method used by Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) when helping solve a murder case. He typically uses (as defined in the opening credits) mental acuity, hypnosis and/or suggestion. As a regular watcher, I see his mental sharpness comes with repeated accurate gut feelings which were proven correct.

 

Back to the initial example I was sharing, I couldn’t fake the obvious when on 2 different occasions, similar feedback was given regarding my energy level. Whether or not this person knows me well, my energy level was a give away, and acted as a trigger to this person’s hunch. By reason, this person might or might not know the different areas of my interest. By hunch, this person I was talking to was on point. ‘I can’t fake it’ was my blunt and honest reaction.

The lesson is this. Do not be afraid to show your true selves, in fact BE yourself no matter what you do. You are who you are because of the values and principles that you believe and hold on to, and not as merely an external reaction ‘just’ to show others that you are great/noble/perfect etc. BE YOURSELF. Success comes easier in the things that are closer to you in value and principle.

***

Someone falls to pieces
Sleeping all alone
Someone kills the pain
Spinning in the silence
To finally drift away
Someone gets excited
In a chapel yard
Catches a bouquet
Another lays a dozen
White roses on a grave

To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

***

The above the opening lyrics to Audioslave’s ‘Be Yourself’.

Ain’t it easier just to be innately yourself, then pretending to be somebody else? The following conflict that this may cause (in case we pretend to be some one who we are not), can be severe. Some to the point of not having life goals just because we never learnt how to say ‘No’. The ‘Yes’es were obligatory to make others happy. Than what? We do not have a sense of purpose and direction, and will find it hard to make decisions.

As we progress through the phases in life, naturally we assume bigger and important responsibilities. No one is there to coach or ‘mummy’ and tell us what to do, what not to do, what’s good and vice versae. It is fine if we do ‘discover’ ourselves much later in life. But more importantly, we understand the essence of being ourselves, and not just reacting to our environment, trying to ‘fit’ in into something which doesn’t give us life pleasure. In simple words, don’t fake it. Be yourself, just better.

 

You may relate to my words based on your own experience. You know we have all done mistakes in the past. We learn from them. We move on. We get on with our lives. We do not pacify the role of legacies which our mothers or children will NOT be proud of, but we know we are only humans who are prone to mistakes especially during life phases where we are either too adventurous and see life as a lab for us to test different experiments, AND/OR when we were mostly unguided and easily influenced.

If you are a parent, realise that if you want to better your family’s well-being,situation and relationship, each family members play a role. In your case, it begins with you. Have a higher purpose, recalibrate your goals and purpose if needed, have more compassion and warmth — and hopefully with that all will fall unto place just like the rain droplets rolling down an opened umbrella.

 

If you are an employer, a manager, its important to know and be yourself, and align that with the vision of your organisation. Most likely they are all for the greater good. Be humane in your actions and words. Employees are not machines. They have their values and principles which you need to respect.

The writer is a mother of two, wife,triathlete and an adventurer of life. Life is a series of explorations to achieve a higher goal unlimited to the worldly life span but beyond.

Back- to- back


It keeps coming. Enough to keep my on my toes 😛 from the Ironman training to the Ironman debut to the iron heartbreaks and now…to exams. huhuh.. Juggling between academic and sports can be very tricky… I’ve 2 weeks to go before I can finally declare myself on a real break ! This semester is just too long and I must confess that I have realized my soul was just ‘ not there’ in the academiae for this semester, well at least part of it.

Anyways, I’ve been reading these 2 books written by Prof. Malik Badri, and it has knocked my unconscious mind to wake up .. *knock!knock!* . I’ve been ‘sleeping’ for quite a while now.. too dreamy, always being swept away by this illusive life if I may call it. So jewelz,wakey wakey ! Yes, getting my grip back now, and reading the 2 books to some extent made me realize that my life should not be wasted.

Oh by the way, title for the 2 books  which i just mentioned :-

 

  1. CONTEMPLATION : An Islamic Psychospiritual Study
  2. The Dilemma of Mulism Psychologists

 

Prof. Malik Badri is my lecturer for Seminar for Undergraduate Studies. And these 2 books are our textbooks for the course.

 Contemplation

Contemplation

From the back cover of the 1st book CONTEMPLATION : An Islamic Psychospiritual Study

“Deliving into true meaning and experience of Islamic spirituality, based on a person’s awareness and recognition of his existence and place in Creation. Malik Badri reveals the limitations and contradictions of the current prevailing schools of psychology that deny the existence of the soul and perceive humans as mere machines acting on external stimuli

Combining the rich traditional Islamic wisdom with contemporary knowledge, the author advances a unique approach to the understanding of the human psyche  and the self that gives a central position to the meditation and contemplation as forms of worship in Islam.

It is a book addressed to anyone who is interested in the Islamic approach towards the urgency felt by modern socities who are yearning for the rediscovery of the long -forgotten  and neglected aspects of their lives.”

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“Contemplation is a free form of worship which, short of contemplation of the Divine Being Himself, is not hindered by any limitation of space or time, or any obstacles , seen or unseen. In his endeavour to distinguish Islamic contemplation from other forms of meditation, Badri compares it to thinking and especially trascendental meditation which has achieved much following in the West in the recent years.However, he suggest that when Muslims contemplate the creation, the self and the laws of the Almighty therein, they excel over other contemplators because they have higher incentives and expectations from God.”

…This book is an example of how human sciences can support faith and spiritual values,and how, when a mind is guided by the Qur’an and the Sunnah, it will be graced by the light of faith and the light of revelation, as well as the guiding light of reason.”

SHAIKH YUSUF AL-QARDAWI

From the Introduction to the book

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The Dilemma of Muslim Psychologists

The Dilemma of Muslim Psychologists

From the back cover of the 2nd book : The Dilemma of the Muslim Psychologists

“But for lack of liturgy, psychology, with all its by-products and off-shoots,has assumed in the west status of religion,and for many people has replaced it.As in other areas of social sciences, some Muslim thinkers and scholars have developed an amazing skill of unthinking repetition and blind copying of Western, non -Islamic ideas and practises. 

” ‘In the Lizard’s Hole’ is a Prophetic epitaph that describes this activity very well. Some Muslim psychologists insist dogmatically on praying even into lizard’s holes that have been partly or totally abandoned by their western counter-parts.

But do Muslims really need modern pscyhology at all? Is modern psychology wholly Western? Is there a way on which is could be reconciled with Islam? These burning questions lie lurking behind the dilemma of Muslim psychologists.

…He (the author) argues that the techniques which have evolved from the philosophy, basically anti-religious, underlying some modern psychotherapeutic and psychiatric discplines have, in fact, acquired a certain meaasure of autonomous neutrality, and can be useful in the service of the cause Islam. Muslim psychologists can restore spiritual vigour to the ailing materialistic behaviourism of the West, and to Western psychology as a whole…

….Dr. Badri’s pioneering study is a warning to Muslim social scientists of the dangers of blind following of Western social theories and norms, and an effort to save Muslimsfrom being trapped in lizard’s holes that lie hidden in other areas of human life and thought. “

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I would strongly suggest any of you who are interested to get hold of the books, especially the 1st book (CONTEMPLATION) . You will, i guarantee, benefit from what you will read and discover. 😛 Price for each book is RM10. Anyone who is interested, can contact me by leaving a comment on this post. Thanks !

You can also purchase the book online . click here

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