When facing a person who does not help, but instead make you feel bad – Tips on what to do

We get this occasionally.

Get stuck in a situation. AND the person whom you asked for help does nothing to help but instead make
1) the most noise
2) you feel bad/worse

Ever experienced this?

This could be a telltale sign that that the other person (if this happens on repeated occasion) is
  1. Having problem projecting empathy
  2. Selfish
  3. Only ready to help when there is something in for him/her  ie reward,recognition
  4. Having low self-esteem. He/she uses your situation to boost his/her self-esteem
  5. Somewhat insecure. He/she enjoys using others failures/slacking/suffering to make him/her feel good
Related image
Photo from luckottershaven.com

What you CAN do when facing people or situations like this:-

  1. Accept that this person is not going to change anytime soon
  2. Don’t feel bad about yourself. Its the person’s behaviour and reaction towards your plea which was causing you to feel bad at the first place and not due to your problem/situation which required help
  3. Understand mistakes happen. And people have weaknesses.You make mistake. The other person’s weakness is probably not being able to react accordingly when help is needed. The other person perhaps have problem relating to others in difficulty

So rather than be mad at this person, best leave him/her with no reaction.

Remember,if you choose to react like a crazy person to this person who just annoyed/hurt you, this will be IN favour of him/her.
He or she loves your reaction and will see it as a reason for a silent applause behind your back. (Like Yasssss!)
They have achieved their revenge or reason to make you feel bad even when help is needed.
Next time you need help, avoid asking help from this person best possible. If help is truly needed, ensure first there is no chance for him/her to turn the card against you unless you are ready to give him/her the lecture of their life. But be assured most times, they won’t get it !

You may ask, what if he/she ask for help from YOU the next time? Tell yourself these few things-

1-Help sincerely
2-Lead by example and not by acting crazily [definitely applies in other life situation]
3-Don’t judge even though you may have 1000 ideas
4-Treat others how you want to be treated
5-Self respect matters. Prove that at ALL time regardless of situation or with whom
6- Be smart and act/react wisely. You may want to blurt offensive words, but don’t. It will be held and used against you one day, you never know
Trying the tips above can help you go through such situation with more ease and keep you sane and grounded.
Hope you found the article helpful.
Thank you.
Juliana Ali @ missjewelz
July 6, 2017,Kuala Lumpur

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