How do I start this… I am blogging for the second consecutive time after midnight. Its takes 1 hour – 1.5 hours for me to churn and spill ideas out of this exhausted mind just because its just the best time to do so. Besides, I am left with not much me-time during the day. So here I am again !
I like doing what I am doing — to be myself, and doing what matters most to me. There’s something about being complacent which disturbs me. It makes our life stagnant and poisonous. Being comfortable most often than not, can leave us becoming worthless people– to ourselves, our family, to the community around us, or even to our God, God forbids.. But that is the reality which we face in our lives, directly or not, directly or indirectly. Like it or not. I am not saying don’t be complacent and content..we should be. But not to the point when we lose motivation and drive to improve our lives and well-being ! The least being somebody who is useful and serves a/some purpose in life !
Some of us are ‘movers’ and ‘shakers’ — people who believe that their course of actions can make positive changes in our lives, and the lives of others. No matter how small. ‘Shakers’ – we believe that every second and minute of our lives should be put to doing goodness and fairness. Be it learning new soft skills which can help improve our household management, some training to upscale ourselves for our career, doing sports for health and other benefits, and giving back to the needy.All done with the good and best of intention certainly be rewarding for us, and those around us.
Then comes the second group of people — whose full time job is observing others and giving reviews and comments on how others can do better jobs. This second group feels that their comments are worth hearing when in fact they do not give any constructive and positive contribution/good to anybody. Nobody! Comment, condemn and criticism– the major 3Cs — nothing beats giving remarks on how others could ‘have done their tasks/jobs better’ when in fact they themselves (the 2nd group) have done nothing at all near what the movers and shakers have done. Their feel good factor comes from the fact that they ‘think’ they could have done the job better than anyone else. That some people slacks in working out some projects just because they missed a few important steps– and that if these projects were done by these ‘suckers’- they seriously could have done the job better. Thing is– this group have done NOTHING at all. Cakap saja !
I suppose we do come across this sort of people everyday– at work for instance. This is the empty vessel.. ‘tin kosong’ — bunyi saja kuat tapi isi kosong. Be careful and be extra cautious when being around these type of people as they are motivation and energy suckers. They make you feel bad though you think you have done your job well. Your thinking is– you’ve done what you have with all your mighty wit and will, sincerely– then comes along this person who simply can’t stand other people who actually get themselves places by doing real things– less talk, more action. What does this person do? The same ole’..condemn, criticise and look for loopholes which they themselves have no guarantee of being able to cover/fix. They are people of NO substance and class.
My advice are :
a) Whatever you are doing, just stay away from these people – like literally. You don’t want to spoil the sincere fun/satisfcation that you deserve having just because ‘these people’ can’t come to agreement with A-Z of what you are embarking on
b) Keep your reference and resources to yourself (unless boss tells otherwise).. When you are doing your ground/homework– these ‘suckers’ will always find a place and time to say that you’re wasting your time and that you could have asked ‘them’. Besides, they are the know-it-all people right? So, to save the hassle, keep away from these people when you really need your ‘me’ time.. they’re just nuisance you should get rid off whenever you can (though most time you’re stuck with them !)
c) Accept their opinions objectively — they may have valid points. But don’t make the mistake of using them(those valid points) against yourselves. You can actually ‘encourage’ these people to feel good for the wrong reasons. Make them realise that they too are susceptible to mistakes and flaws– advice them professionally– and stop being too defensive about anything. It will just make ourselves look more stupid..
d) They are quite creepy and will find 1001 ways to get on your nerves. The smallest of things are normally pointed out over bigger and more crucial things. Why ? They can’t handle talking big and serious stuff with you as they don’t have the edge to do so. So, they’re left whining and complaining of the smaller items making it sound as if it is a real issue. Hold your guards, and know that you will get no extra benefit trying to win over these kind of people. They can’t sit to see you relaxed and happy ! Let them say what they have to say, and utter no more. Certainly the fight not worth fighting for.
e) Be silent and walk away
Just remember that your life is short and you are responsible to ensure that you don’t waste time managing these suckers. Spend time doing good things and giving charity to others even if its a smile. Any time you lift a burden or a frown off somebody, you are already doing charity. Involves no stage or cheque presentation..Just be good to yourselves and those around you. What goes around comes around. Keep that in mind. Go out there, make a change, and be somebody of worth !
wellsaid. we just need to be ourself, rather than living for others. I have similar experience. even, when they achieve lesser then you, but they are more egoistic and dont respect for our achievement.