Malaysia’s ‘Mind Your Own Business’ Culture
I was right at the front end of a taxi stand queue yesterday to get home after work, waiting for a cab (what else..) when a lady in the middle of the queue stuck out her hand to hail a passing cab. This was the 3rd time in less than a minute I’ve witnessed patiently such rudeness taking place. I stepped off the stand curb for the cab, and spoke to the lady who was probably in her mid to late 40s, ‘Queue up please’. It took her half a second or more before she blurted out loud ‘You don’t need to tell me what to do. Mind your own business’.
If this is what the adults and elderly (no matter what gender, race or religion you come from) do, don’t blame it to the younger generation for replicating the same rudeness over and over. ‘You don’t need to tell me what to do’ <<– this statement is rather selfish [dan juga sombong], and normally will come from people who assume everything that they do is correct, where no advice or ‘teguran’ applies. Even when somebody is doing something obviously ethically wrong and any form of advice from anybody is seen as ‘invading’ personal right to act – i.e. cutting the queue since the cab is passing right in front of you at a taxi stand where a a few or more people are queuing up in front of you. Kids will only emulate the parents, the same way, some or most of us regard its ‘OK’ since everybody else is doing it, and there are no enforcement against doing so.
Not everything needs enforcement all the time dear Malaysians. We complain like all the time of the bad traffic — and yet we still double park on our own accord. There are many examples of rude behaviours that we witness day to day here in Malaysian. KL, or beyond KL– the pattern is pretty similar.
The next thing which the lady said at me wasn’t even a surprise. Just goes on to enforce the idea how selfish (and rude) some people can be .. ‘Mind your own business’ — she said. Whoa Mrs.. its a taxi stand. Its not YOUR private lawn, or not even your own lavatory (at home lah..) For her to be saying that to me, or whoever is standing at the front of the queue — Shame on her..! Just because I am younger than her doesn’t give her the right to cut the queue !
I gave her a neutral look, opened the cab door, and went in. A few seconds did not go to waste there. I executed my right– and I think all of you should too.
Toilet queue, nasi lemak queue, queue at the office cafeteria — come on, if you’re adult enough, do you actually need to be told to queue instead of jumping it ? Unfortunately in the city and country that I am living in, the answer is YES. Where the adults need to be reminded. And ironically where the children are expected to behave, and get whacked/scolded if they don’t.
What are we teaching our youngs?
With all this, what kind of message are we giving our kids, and younger generation ? The message is, Mind your own business so that other people will mind theirs. Do what you think is right, and whatever comments from other people — well, just ignore them. More than once I’ve read and heard that the more ‘developed’ a country become, the more individualistic the nation becomes. In the context of Malaysia, personally, I am more concern if the nation becomes more uncivilized and progressing southward ethically and morally AS the country progresses positively in terms of its financial and infrastructure achievements. All this physical achievements will mean nothing if its people don’t progress along ! Its just like putting an indigenous person fresh from the jungle into an automobile.
How can we change and better negative cultures ?
There has to be a point of balance somewhere. For that to happen, it HAS to start somewhere. We should not waste all the resources which helps guide our behaviours and ethics. For starters, the teachings our religion and positive culture. You are lucky if your parents did have the time to educate you on moral, ethics and common sense. If you are not, then do educate yourselves to nurture good and likeable behaviours so that your family, friends and children can look up at you and set YOU as an example.
Educate your kids through your own good and virtuous actions and behaviour (and not shouting at them all the time thinking the louder and higher the intensity of the voice tone, the deeper it will drill them to their minds and thoughts. And surely not totally leaving it to the school and education system to ‘educate’ your kids. Their peers sometimes does better ‘teaching’ than the qualified teachers !
Parents should be their best examples though many a times they are not the best of examples . It takes some knowledge, experience and also time to gear oneself up to become a good parent. Talking to other parents may introduce you to new implementable insights which you never knew. So, do give it a try ! There’s hope !
Have a great weekend everybody ! And, to those who have completed their Desaru Triathlon, Congratulations !! DNFers, its okay, there’s always a next time !!! Cheers, missjewelz.