Not blogging

I wanted to update on the race I took part in Tioman 2 weeks ago (8/5) , before the New Balance run. Or even right after. But after the news of Ngae’s passing broke, I thought I would give this page a week moment of silence and not updating anything on training or racing. The only posts after last Saturday have been those pertaining to Ngae’s funeral service and cremation which I attended yesterday(17/5/2010) afternoon , as well as today(18/5/2010). I got to see him for the final time. This time without holding anyone’s hand (Jason Thiang, thank you for being there!) Yesterday before entering the Casket Room 7, I thought I would be scared..I was not sure if I was ready to look..and say goodbye.. But I was cool alright after looking at his face.  He looks like he’s in a deep peaceful sleep.

I do not intend to put any pics from the funeral here,yet, (again as a sign of respect). But most importantly is that I got the chance ‘to be there’ in his presence, together with other friends from the tri/running community and those close to Ngae, and offer our prayers and say our most final farewell. Today, I also got the chance  to speak to Ngae’s widow, Pin Pin.Somehow I did not have to introduce myself to her.She said ‘You must be Juliana’ after the cremation ceremony was over. Raymond Ng , Chan Wing Kai and a few friends told me that my name was mentioned by Pin Pin last night during the eulogy (which I missed) when it was her turn to speak. My friends who attended the service last night was very kind and informed Pin Pin that I had came earlier in the afternoon. I am simply honoured that Ngae remembered and even mentioned to Pin Pin about me.  He has touched the life of many others.  And the fact that he mentioned to Pin Pin that he’s happy that I am still keep in touch with him after he slowly drew away from the sports scene since end of last year, touched me deeply. I only got to know about it this afternoon on my way to fetch Raymond to go for the cremation. I know there was a huge turnout at last night’s ceremony. But I’ve said my bids earlier on as well as just now. When I looked into the coffin again this afternoon, he still looks like he’s sleeping, peacefully. I’ll leave it as that. You don’t know what you’re missing until its gone.

Learn to appreciate those around you. I’ve learned through the years, every time I want to do bad or harm, I would think of death. I do not want to die knowing that I have hate/anger with any single soul. I just do not want that.. It hurts.. Learn to love too and do not keep your life to yourself. Live is rich because of those around you. Give and take, share. and for God’s sake, do laugh ! its the best medicine. no charge and no consultation fee also. So cheer up my friends. Emma, you feeling ok now..?  Everyone, please be happy for Ngae, please do.. I have to admit I cried like a baby myself the evening I got to know about what happened..And my guess is, if I were to be that be at the eulogy last night and asked to speak about Ngae, I don’t think I would have done a good job either..But  remember…apa yang datang akan pergi jua.  Pause for a moment and allow that reality to knock in slowly. Let the fondest of memories stay with you. And talking about memories, I am still searching for that last video of Ngae after one of the morning runs at Bukit Aman. I promise to upload it here once I find em.

Anyways, will continue to blog about these few days experience  of losing a beloved friend (and what I’ve learned and gained from it) next week. Next Monday hopefully. My Tioman race and NB15k race report is the least prioritized post item at the moment. I’m still sad and shocked, but I know for sure Ngae wants everyone to be happy. Life is simply too short to be wasted on sadness..or anger. So please be happy for Ngae and all the good things that he had done and achieved in life. Inspirational is an understatement. He’s the epitome of the kindest and and most humble soul who has ever touched my life. In case you don’t know Ngae, you can always offer a prayer for him. I believe his family would really appreciate that.

There will be a Memorial Run for the late Ngae Koh Hieng this Sunday(23/5/2010), 6am , Bukit Aman. The plan is to gather at 6am , and start running at 6.30am, in sarong ! 10k, 20k.. the distances are flexible I believe. The event facebook link here Run In Memory of Ngae Koh Hieng.

To Jason Thiang, Raymond Ng, Chan Wing Kai, Goh Choon Aun, Vivian, Shihming and Yip, thank you for sharing the news on what happened and was said at the eulogy as well as the updates with me, and thank you for supporting me emotionally too.. Vivian, stay strong ok. Shihming,take care too. Ray Ng, thank you for sharing too..  I didn’t know he can cook so well !!

Other posts by friends on Ngae :

TriTwins – Simon Cross

Team Tri-Hard – Emma Bishop

Just Tri Hard – Kevin Siah

Running The Miles – Khoo Yit Kiat

Runnerz Circle – Frank

Running Mom – Haza Zean

Incoherent Ramblings – OP Stupe

Chap Ayam Runners – CAR

Bink, The Journey So Far – Rashid

OP Chan – Chan Jun Shen

Triathlon Malaysia – Triathlon Malaysia

Jamiepang – Jamie Pang